A picture has a story to tell. It holds so much meaning. This one says a lot, but the one I will focus on today is the story behind those prick on my baby’s feet.

When each of my boys was born, they had extreme jaundice from blood incapability of my husband and me. My body tried to fight off both of my boys like they were a virus.

In my first pregnancy, I didn't know the sensitization had happened. At first, we weren't aware anything was wrong, but around 12 hours, treatment ramped up quickly. His body couldn’t filter the bilirubin out of his blood fast enough–extreme cases can result in brain damage or death–so I was terrified about the possible outcomes.

On his third day of life, he flew alone to Traverse City NICU–3 hours away–for a treatment we couldn't get in rural Sault Ste. Marie. Even though the nurses and doctors in the OB were terrific, they just didn’t have the technology. He needed an IVIG, and intense phototherapy lights, and was close to needing a blood transfusion, but fortunately, that was never needed.

In those first 3 days of his life, I slept 5 hours. Once we got to the NICU, I was pumping to take milk to the NICU, watching all day, holding his hand while he was under the blue lights, calling several times a night to check on his blood status, and hoping things would turn out okay.

And after 6 days in the NICU, we could finally take him home.

…

I always wanted more kids, but in those days of waiting and hoping, we decided we wouldn’t have any more biologically. Undiagnosed postpartum depression and axiety solidified that decision.

But nature is funny and convinces you to do crazy things. Two years later, I emerged from the fog. And, we decided we didn’t want our little guy to be an only child. I found a support group on Facebook that made me feel encouraged that we could have another successful pregnancy.

Pregnancy this round was a lot less simple though. Thankfully, my husband was stationed near Seattle during this time because if we were still in Michigan, we would have been making many trips to Ann Arbor during the winter, which would have been five hours one way instead of the two hours to Seattle.

Even though it was closer, traveling to Seattle was still an 8-hour day of driving, getting checkups and baby brain scans, and heading back home.

Everything went pretty well through pregnancy. I was prepared once for induction at 34 weeks due to worsening scans, but we made it a few weeks longer before he needed to come out. We knew there would be a NICU stay, and it was a relief that he would move within the same hospital.

There were still some bumps in the road because this type of jaundice is less known to most nurses and many doctors and much more aggressive. However, we were able to advocate for the help we knew we needed.

After two rounds of IVIG, pumping around the clock, and walking many times a day to the NICU from the hotel where my little family was living, and a 9-day NICU stay, we finally took little bub home.

After taking both babies home, we were making trips to the hospital for them almost every day for heel pricks to check their blood–one of the reasons that first picture is so important to me.

With our second son, after three weeks of being home, he and I had to return to Seattle PICU for a double blood transfusion. I lived in a hospital recliner for that weekend while we waited for the blood.

Finding the right tiny vein for his transfusion was tough and had me on edge. Four tries before they found the right one! The transfusion took 16 hours, and he cried most of the time, not allowed to nurse or eat anything. I did everything I could to give him even a moment of calm. And, finally, the transfusion was over. His blood looked good, and we went home.

Since then, he’s only needed local checkups, he is back on a regular-kid-check-up-schedule now.

Man, this was a lot longer than I intended, but maybe I needed it. And maybe someone else out there does, too.

Photo credit to my husband. Although, he deserves a lot more credit than that. He gave us brain power, strength, and support for our family during these trying days, and I’m so thankful to have him. <3