Jessica Ellen May | Photographer + Videographer

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Family first: a ramble about my social media use

Because it wouldn’t all fit on social media, and I think it’s worth voicing.

I haven't been posting on social media as much. My focus has been at home with my family and myself. I want to connect with the people I'm closest to more than people I barely know (even though when you follow someone enough, you do feel like you know them—but it’s not the same).

Before starting my photo business in 2019, I had never used the Instagram account that I created. Yep, I signed up and immediately deleted it. And I hadn't been on Facebook (aside from Messenger) in five years. I was actually really happy with that.

But once I started my business, I was told I needed to be on these platforms, and maybe, to some degree, it’s true.

Social media is tricky for me

Social media and I have an iffy relationship, more often than not. One minute, I'm doing stuff for "work," and then 30 minutes go by, and I realize that the first post I saw pulled me in, and I went down a rabbit hole.

Or, I get information overload, and instead of getting things done, I research endlessly. I think I'm being productive, but then days later, I haven't acted on the inspiration. I don't take the necessary action to make the change.

Or, you spend time pouring your soul out to the universe to receive little in return. Let me tell you, I don't like pouring my soul out to anyone that I'm not very close with.

I know I’m not alone in this.

Sure, I know social media isn’t all bad

To be fair, social media has made connecting with things I might not have otherwise found easier and gets me in touch with people who love what I do in my photography business.

It also allows people to share their experiences (motherhood and parenting come to mind) and tell other people that they're not alone.

Becoming a parent is hard. It's hard on your mental health, your physical health, and your relationships. It's a serious period of growth that you can't know without being in it. And despite these “connecting” platforms, those people are alone at home. Nothing can replace in-person family and friends, even if you can’t always be together.

So, while I think social media can have benefits, it also has some serious drawbacks. I see it all the time with people in the photography industry and people’s personal lives.

How I do social media

I deleted all my social media apps and only use them on my computer very occasionally.

For business, I use Meta Business Suite to post for my business. That way, I don’t get caught up on my phone doing things I didn’t mean to do.  If I have time, I schedule more posts. Man, that feels like a bad thing to say because I feel like I'm supposed to be on the app posting in real-time, or it's not authentic.

But the truth is that my family is more important to me than my business. And I’m okay with that. This work is only meant to be part-time for me. I don’t want to be full-time, which means I have to take things off my plate. I have to give myself grace because I only have 24 hours in a day, and those hours are nearly all spoken for.

Book recommendation

In case you want to explore separating yourself from social media more and connecting more with yourself and the people in your life, I recommend the book Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. I’ve listened to the audiobook twice, and it’s definitely helped me clarify what I want and move toward that.